Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories #699: What a Haul!

TEXAS:  What a Haul! We learn more than $4 million worth of methamphetamine was found hidden in a shipment of brined cucumbers at the Texas-Mexico border in April 2021, authorities said. The tractor-trailer driver was arrested for hauling the stash of speed – which included 114 packages weighing a total of 217 pounds. SPAIN:  Dogged police detectives got an assist from a poodle, read the headline. A woman who faked her death  in spring 2021,was foiled by her pet, police report. The 47-year-old alleged fraudster pretended she had met with her maker after authorities accused her of embezzling $1.2 million from a German solar-power firm. However, detectives learned from social media she owned a giant poodle, then saw a man
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Weird Criminal Law Stories #698: Just Plane Stupid ?

PENNSYLVANIA: The headline read, “That’s a ‘plane’ stupid crime.” In early May 2021,we learned that a one Mr. Harry Griffith allegedly stole a Pittsburgh airport trash truck—and crashed into a terminal building. Mr. G, 35, of the town of Southern Pines, allegedly drove the truck through the glass doors of a moving walkway, hit  a cement pillar, jumped out and tried to flee. He faces charges including theft by unlawful taking, criminal mischief and recklessly endangering another person. FLORIDA: Silly saucy over a tomato? An elderly woman furious about “the thickness” of the tomato on her on her Whopper allegedly tossed the sandwich at a Burger King worker, and was arrested. Judith Black, 77, was accused of hurling the sandwich
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 697: All about arrests of Capitol rioters Jan. 6 2021, Part 2

NEW YORK: Perhaps, the Dumbest Turncoat rioter Arrested in April 2021? Robert Chapman, who lives in the upstate town of Carmel in Putnam County, was arrested in late-April 2021 on charges in connection with the riot at the US Capitol on January 6. Chapman came to light of the FBI after he boasted about taking part in the insurrection on the dating app Bumble a week after the riot. We learn from a report that another Bumble user tipped off the Feds with a screenshot of a damming exchange at the Capitol. “I did storm the Capitol,” Chapman bragged, adding he had spoken to the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal. Chapman is charged with knowingly entering and remaining
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 696: All about arrests of Capitol rioters Jan. 6 2021, Part 1

NEW YORK:  Two Capitol riot Turncoats arrested… A Montana man accused of  pushing a metal police barricade into police during the Capitol riot flew to Kenya in January 2021. Isaac Sturgeon, 32, who owns a lawn-care business in Dillon Montana. On January 16, 2020, FBI posted a video showing Sturgeon and asked the public to help identifying him. Subsequently, two tipsters called authorities who identified him. On January 24, 2021he flew to Kenya and was not due to return until April 5 – however Kenyan authorities had him deported after the feds dropped and arrest warrant for him. FBI agents greeted him on March 6, when he landed at JFK Airport. At his first court hearing in federal court,  it
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 695: Not Over The Moon!

ILLINOIS:  Not over the moon, maybe? We learn that a man was arrested for mooning his neighbors, apparently in anger at being told to stop mowing yards that weren’t his. Bradley Hayes, 42, received disorderly-conduct charges for pulling down his pants when residents confronted him. The act caused “multiple neighbors to be alarmed and disturbed,” according to a police report.    AUSTRIA: He was fined for farting…  A  parkgoer was penalized several hundred dollars for passing gas at police officers in Vienna. The unidentified gassy guy allegedly stood up from a bench in mid-June and broke “with full intent,” according to police spokesman, who added, Our colleagues don’t like to be farted at so much.” The man was fined $565
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 694: A “Brief” Dilemma?

UKRAINE: It was a “brief” dilemma, they say? During the 2020 coronavirus pandemic a woman peeled off her underwear and used it as a face mask after a post office worker refused to serve her without a face cover. Camera footage revealed the woman pulling off her pants and undies in front of stunned customers at the Nao Posha post office in Kiev.   HAWAII:  Arrest for violating a quarantine order? We learn that the leader of a polygamist cut called Carbon Nation – which believes in nudism, refraining from bathing and defecating on trees – was arrested for violating the state’s quarantine order, according to a report. Eligio Lee Bishop – who refers himself as “God” and “Natureboy,” was arrested
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books